I do hate the “decent me aren’t sitting around worrying about being accused” not because it’s not true, but because it’s so easy to point at X Y or Z story where someone admitted they lied about the thing they accused a person of, but only years after the persons life was destroyed. Of course, the decent ones have no idea how to handle it BECAUSE they didn’t have a reason to worry about it.
<personal anecdote>
I myself have been accused of SAing a person at a party. The only party I ever went to in school consisted of show choir members chilling in a garage drinking, and only about half of us were drinking. Due to childhood trauma I cannot stand alcohol so I was one of the sober ones. When pointed out by someone else, the person almost immediately started backpeddaling to “it was a joke” but nobody laughed. Everyone was uncomfortable. And of course as more people hear about the event, the story gets diluted back to now people think I SAd someone when they’ve already said they lied about it. Not life ruining, but it very nearly got out of hand, and very quickly. The only reason I can think she thought to say that was she was mad at me for taking a solo in a song she wanted. Different friend groups, so the only thing we had in common was like 2 classes together.
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This is a women’s only community.
We actually had a semi-lengthy discussion about this in the comments which you clearly didn’t read along with ignoring the rules.
Did you worry about being accused before it happened? No, which is WHY it fucked you up.
“Oh no this thing happened that nearly got out of hand”!" Oh you poor dear, we should immediately pack up attempts to fight casualisation of sexual assault in response
Cool, it’s fine to get mad and put words in my mouth. Byeee
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Thanks so much for stopping by! We are women only, and the rules are pinned at the top. Had to ban you thanks for understanding ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗
It’s so cool when men come into this women’s only community and lecture at us.
There are bad actors everywhere of every gender.
It’s still true that decent men do not sit around worrying about being accused of being unsafe towards women.
Women wanting to be safe is not an attack on men.
Oh sorry. Didn’t noticed it was a women’s only community. It just popped up in my feed and I replied. I’ll leave you to it then.
Hopefully we don’t get an influx of men crying about the chance of being accused of rape in a community of women where statistically 30% of us have been sexually assaulted and/or raped.
Only 30%? I’m actually surprised.
30% reported cases in the US anyway, which certainly doesn’t paint the entire picture.
Tbh I’d be surprised if we didn’t. Although our beloved blahaj admins work hard to ban people so hopefully most have been banned before
It’s way higher in my experience. One in four girls have been sexually abused before the age of 18, so not even counting after that.
You’re right, it’s definitely higher which is why I threw in “statistically”. It is very difficult to report and record sexual assault and rape cases for many reasons.
Sometimes this kind of conversation will attract men who want to be technically correct and I was trying to avoid arguing with anyone about what the “real” numbers are. So I pulled what we know for sure for my comment.
The fact that it’s even higher makes this kind of whinging to women about being seen as unsafe around women very cringe.
Statistically, 30% admit to being sexually assaulted (in the US).
Thank you, yes. Very important distinction. The numbers are much higher.
Which makes the whining even more cringe.
Don’t try to draw attention away from the middle of the bell curve by discussing the tails.
I’m on a solo camping trip across the country, and have had to leave two campgrounds because men kept inching closer to my camp and scoping me out in ways that made me feel very uncomfortable. It’s different than when men see my car or tent and want to engage with me about it, that’s a very direct and friendly approach and I’m always happy to have those conversations. This was very predatory feeling, and now I’m keeping defensive things in my pockets at all times :/
I live in one of the more statistically safe cities in the world, but old habits die hard and I always carry two knives in two different places on my person.
The most telling thing about this account is the reaction: pretty much everyone knows it actually happens, and doesn’t contest it. Meanwhile, if a male claimed the same the immediate reaction would be intense skepticism - not because it can’t happen, but because it’s just nowhere near as much a common, daily occurrence as it is the other way around.
EDIT: uhg, sorry - having come from the “all” feed, I replied to this post without looking at the community name. I’m admittedly male, so if you want to remove my comment I understand. Sorry for the accidental intrusion.
Thank you very much for that edit and apology.
