• Wren@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    I started bartending at sports events when I was 18. The tips were glorious, the men were not. So many life lessons learned in a very short amount of time.

  • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    Dudes fucking do that?!?

    I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this)

    What the fuck is wrong with people

      • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        I apologize, I have a bad habit of not reading the rules (or noticing which sub I’m in, I came in from the ‘All’ feed).

        I’ve just now read the rules, and it definitely says that only women can post, but it was less clear about if men would be welcome to comment (based on your comment it seems like maybe we’re not? [I have ASD, so I often need things spelled out for me explicitly, I’m not trying to be pedantic])

        I’m sorry if I’m intruding, that was not my intention. If this is a safe space I’ll gladly see myself out.

      • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        Upon reflecting I recognize now what the bad thing I said was.

        To be clear, I’m just an idiot and don’t think carefully enough about what I’m saying or typing until it’s already out of my head.

        I wasn’t trying to be discriminatory or exclusionary. I’m sorry everyone. I won’t bother you again.

        • Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.com
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          2 days ago

          I didn’t read your comment badly mate… i read it as taking the meme seriously. It was obviously new information that shocked you, you took it seriously and had supportive anger on our behalf. Plus you’re politely leaving without argument cos you realised we don’t allow cis men. There’s no issue at all, it’s fine, and hope you have a lovely weekend 🥰

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      (some) Dudes absolutely do that.

      They’ll also slap women’s butts, tell them to smile, ask for their phone number, wait at the bar until the woman’s shift is over, etc.

      • CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        Or lead us where we are already going with a hand on the small of our back.

        Holy shit do NOT touch me like you know me and earned my affections, you absolute shitheel. Im capable of moving where I want when I want without help from a stranger.

      • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        Actually I’m now realizing that I’ve seen a few of those happen (I’ve seen the smiling one a lot actually), and have become somewhat desensitized, so they fall into a category of “upsetting but not surprising”.

        I think the hand thing threw me for a bit of a loop because that’s some cartoon wolf shit

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        There are a lot of men who interpret any woman being neutral or kind to them as flirting.

        Same as there are a lot of men who interpret a woman being neutral or disinterested as rude.

      • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        I mean, I guess, but I’ve been extremely embarrassingly drunk many times in the past, and I’ve never attempted to kiss a stranger (or any unwilling party, for that matter), on the hand or otherwise

        If someone loses that much of their inhibitions while drinking then they probably shouldn’t drink

      • h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        Yes. It would be bad enough if they just briefly touched me to grab my attention, but often they would keep their hand on my forearm while speaking to me.

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
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    2 days ago

    Yep. Even if it’s 1 in a 1000, that’s still once or more per week at a busy bar. Our bouncers closed their night when us bartenders were all safely to our cars.

      • voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        Sorry I did not notice the community until right now, ill jot respond back after this to leave you this space. I was just trying to empathize with women by satirising how the type of man would view the sign that it was created for.

        • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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          1 day ago

          When having the rules pointed out to you after you’ve broken them, it is not an invitation to break the rules again so you can explain why you’re breaking the rules. Again.

  • myyass@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Watching an anime that’s the inverse, the smoking cigarettes one. Sigh hopefully the next episode catches up to the light novel. If it’s not bad, enjoy the attention if it’s nice; eventually no one gives a shit about you.

      • myyass@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I guess you have a point. I’m more used to Asian cultures of expressing attention. That’s why I mentioned the anime.

        • Wren@lemmy.today
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          23 hours ago

          I don’t know what anime you watch or what it’s about. By the way, are you following the rukes of this community?