Chickens. Fine. In my experience most people with chickens also have a rooster. If you own a rooster and live in close proximity to anyone, you’re an asshole.
Many cities and suburbs only allow hens.
Everyone complains about my rooster, but no one complains about our neighbor that goes out into his back yard and just screams “Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” at 3 am every night.
He is just keeping the property values low for the affordability crisis.
My neighbor does the same. Just puts a few rounds into the ground in case anyone was thinking about gentrifying the place.
Make sure to thank him for his service (anonymously, I will he you don’t want to direct his attention your way)
that’s just Bert. He’s cool
As someone with a chicken, rooster, guinea fowl, and a turkey. The rooster is necessary for hawk and eagle related reasons, turkey sure as shit isn’t gonna do anything and the guinea are bitches.
You gotta have a cock to cock block hawks
maybe a few geese? (from what I’ve read)
If you’re making a recommendation of geese over roosters for annoyance you must not have spent much time around geese.
My childhood neighbour (great aunt or whatever around some corners, we called her auntie even if she technically wasn’t) had chickens. Their rooster was fairly chill, but unfortunately mortal and eventually supplanted by a younger. That cunt was a genuine asshole, about what you’d expect from a young cock without anyone to trim his wings (figuratively, but also literally - mate could jump up to a kid’s eye level with them things).
Where his predecessor had come to know us and tolerated us near the hens, the young punk was out for fucking blood. Whether he was jealous that the hens would come running to us, whether he thought he needed to protect them from what they clearly didn’t see as threat or whether he was trying to play the tough guy in front of his chicks, I don’t know. Bottom line, we stopped visiting the hens.
And I’d still take him over geese.
Friends of my wife have chickens they raised from chicks. Only it’s very hard to sex chicks and three of them grew up to be roosters. They eventually found someone out in the deep countryside who was willing to take them in as pets instead of chicken dinners. Until that time (which took nearly a year), they relied on anti-crow collars they found on Amazon - which seemed to half-strangle the roosters but didn’t do much to discourage noise.
My wife hates that I still refer to them as the rooster gimps.
Yep. This was a neighbor’s rooster until their dog got off his leash and ate him.
Same can be said for anyone with a outside dog.
Had a neighbour who generally wasn’t fit for pets. Whoever gave her a first dog to live in her tuna can of a smoker’s apartment ought to be sued for cruelty. Whoever gave her a second one should be forced to live with the lot.
One or her dogs didn’t get along with the other. No clue why or what she tried, but I’m inclined to assume “nothing” and it sure didn’t work. Poor thing got locked out on the balcony instead. Whole neighbourhood got to hear his persistent cries of dismay. You’d think he’d accept his fate, but no, he’d bark hours on end. The hag had the nerve to be pissed at noise complaints too. Don’t recall if he was taken from her or found some other end, but I think it stopped eventually.
Yeah that shits way louder than a rooster.
I usually just tune it out though. My neighbor has a loud dog that always barks when I go in my back yard lol. It’s my yard bitch
yes, and? Your desire to have a big hecking floofy pupper who is just soooo happy and needs to share with everyone at 5 in the morning does not override my reasonable expectation of being able to sleep during quiet hours.
My back yard is overgrown really bad right now and the neighbor with the dogs has been doing his passive aggressive best to get me to act. I think I may find some goats.
I mean it you got an overgrown backyard it sounds like you’re kind of the asshole
Please note, it’s THEIR backyard.
It’s got nothing to do with you; that means you are the asshole (not kind of).
Half of my back yard is wild with trees and bushes and tall grass, because I like my yard to sustain some small amount of wildlife. Squirrels, chipmunks, bees, rabbits, and even an owl live there. 100% better than your shit lawn, hands down.
Yeah I have a owl too. He wouldn’t be there is there wan’t something to eat.
Who said I have lawn?
Why? Unless it’s growing into the neighbour’s yard it shouldn’t matter, and if it is growing in the neighbour can clip it back. Let the “weeds” bloom and nourish butterflies and bees. Let the thickets go and house a rabbit. Let the trees get scraggly and house more diverse birds.
Why should the people trying to mimic English royalty by perpetuating laws established as hidden racism get to say what a yard looks like?
There are many weeds that are not native and shouldn’t be allowed to florish. Many should be cut back and exterminated. By allowing them to grow they are creating not only a fire hazard but a propagation plant for weeds to every yard around them.
Your house is a fire hazard.
You should salt your yard, only then can you be safe.
And you’re assuming what they have growing.
In my “overgrown” backyard I’ve only got native wildflowers (which can actually reduce risk of severe wildfire compared to all the grass that just dries up around me).
Nope. I like it. I’m on the very edge of the town and it isn’t as bad as thh guy beside me in the county.
The downside of living in the city with chickens is the smell and noise, but the chickens will just have to get used to it. ~ paraphrasing Sir Terry Pratchett.
Best Pratchett to ever preach it.
A couple of my neighbors have chickens here in suburbia, and there’s at least one rooster around. I don’t complain because I’m old and up at dawn anyway.
Much better than my neighbor’s dog that barked at me viciously whenever I went in my backyard. Call me whatever you want, but I’m glad that dog finally died.
I have a couple of neighborhood dogs that I wish death upon. The reality is that I hate the people more for not doing something about it. Both the dog and owner are ruining a peaceful day, so you can’t feel too bad.
Reminds me of the time I forgot to remove a pocket knife from my keys before going through airport security…
Staff member holds it up, I notice it and am like “oh no, that’s not allowed, right? oh well, then throw it away, I forgot about it…” - staff proceeds to measure the blade length and tell me “no, it’s ok, that’s allowed” and hands it back to me. I still have that pocket knife now, but don’t intend to try that again.
If AI is so great and TSA so necessary why haven’t they replaced TSA with AI yet?
Because you need a place to stick all the assholes with a control complex that didn’t even cut it by police standards.
I have this thing called a utili-key, which is a 6-in-1 multitool that folds up into the shape of a key. I’ve flown with it numerous times, TSA never even had a clue it was on my keyring. I went to one fucking Philadelphia 76ers game and they confiscated it. Perfectly encapsulates TSA.
The TSA was once tested by sending 100 people through with guns, knives, and simulated explosives.
95 of them got through the TSA security checks with no problems.
Damn fuckers are so busy fondling balls and looking for shampoo bottles, they’ve forgotten what they’re actually supposed to be doing there.
Oh, and another fun fact: The TSA has never once stopped an actual terrorist. There have been several terrorist attacks attempted at airports since then which were caught and stopped, but they were all caught and stopped by other airport or airline staff, or by other passengers. The TSA didn’t catch a single one, not even one in their entire history as an organization.
Was this before or after 2001?
in 2024
wild. I had a tiny multi-tool with a less than 1-in blade confiscated. The tool was so small that I had forgotten about it inside my notepad
I had a pair of tweezers confiscated. It’s all arbitrary, and everyone who has ever worked airport security is a wanker
I looked it up today and it seems that at a lot of airports in Europe (where this happened), the limit is 6 cm. My pocket knife is slightly below that.
best part is that somehow my boss went through the same security screenings as me but he had a 3-4in folding knife in his pocket that somehow wasn’t confiscated until the return journey
I’m not 100% sure it was in his pocket on the way there, but he claims it was. in any case, it wasn’t in checked baggage.
I had an Indian friend who flew from Florida home to Bombay, via Heathrow and New Delhi. As he was waiting there for his luggage he glanced down at his shirt pocket and noticed part of a joint sticking out.
I’ve snuck knives through security multiple times, and it has always been an accident. I’ll usually get through security and then as I’m putting everything back in my pockets, I realize that there is a keychain knife on my keys, or that I forgot about a folding blade in my wallet.
I work in an industry where I sometimes have to cut a lot of rope. And I don’t want to waste time tracking down a knife every time I need one. So I’m in the habit of always keeping a knife (honestly, multiple knives) somewhere on my person. Even if I left my regular knife, and my multitool, and my keys (with my keychain knife) at my desk, I still probably have a knife somewhere weird like in my wallet. But that means I also have a bunch of random blades that I tend to forget about until I actively need them.
The TSA has like a 30% track record of noticing my wife forgot to take the pepper spray off her keys
Technically it’s the law a lot of places, surprisingly one of the only places I’ve actually seen it applied as written was at the State Capital, specially listed knives under 3.5" as allowed
Thats a fuck ton of chickens.
Life pro tip: save this gif. It’s great to use in situations like “good morning” or “can chicken legally carry coffee?”
How often do people ask you about chick carrying coffee?
As someone with over 50, and hatching more this week, no it isn’t.
Well, it isn’t when you have 14 acres… But man they’re so fun to just sit and watch.
I had 30 hens as a kid. No rooster. It took some daily upkeep for sure but it wasn’t that much work. They laid well and I made decent money at it.
(Me living in a 900 sqft rental with three kids… ) hmmm I can raise chickens.
Don’t let your dreams be dreams. I believe in you.
Raise the kids first…
Bah let the chickens raise the kids
It’s fun until you wind up with a rooster that has made it his life’s mission attacking you. Those spurs fucking hurt.
Mine is in a phase of that, but he’s kept hens safe, so I put up with his ass.
He used to not be that kind of asshole though. If he’d started out that way, I suspect he would have been soup
I generally get along with all our roos but we had a former rooster who would fight my partner every day. They would have to go outside with a stick in order to just let the dogs out.
That roo found the cone real quick.
Sounds delicious.
Asshole roosters roast quite nicely. Lots of dark meat and more of a turkey flavor. Not sure if it’s them being aggressive jackasses or not, though.
amazing to me how few creatures have learned to not be assholes while delicious. It’s like “do you want to be honey barbecue or spicy buffalo? I’ve got a choice of sauces available.”
How much does a fuck ton actually weight? Is it more or less than a regular ton? Or is it a ton of fucks? How does one even gather a ton of fucks? Are fucks stackable like in a pallet? Do all fucks weigh the same?
So many questions.
A fuck ton is the mass equivalent of a thousand kilofucks. Traditionally, a fuck is supposed to be the chemical and potential energy expended by an individual during an act of intercourse. The origin of “giving a fuck” is thus the figurative expense of mental energy afforded to a topic. Since the definitions and intensity of intercourse vary so wildly, the exact amount of investment a given person may associate with it is highly individual.
Several efforts were started to determine and define a standard fuck. To date, none of these have concluded, as the involved scientists are still exploring all the different forms of kinks and constellations to gather representative samples. Critical voices have suggested that these studies are being intentionally dragged out for personal benefit.
This is further hamstrung by various external influences attempting to limit or expand the definitions of intercourse. For instance, some groups are attempting to pressure researcher teams and their funding institutions into excluding all intercourse not performed by a heterosexual, wedded couple for the purpose of procreation. Others have campaigned for relaxing or abolishing the standards of consent, but Ethics Boards have largely blocked such efforts, most of them also forbidding the inclusion of data offered by proponents.
As for physical representations of that mass equivalent, there is plainly no consensus. Some of the suggestions decay too quickly to be useful, while others have been hard to use. There’s just no realistic way to make any given solution fit all applications.
In short, the topic is highly contentious still.
Fun to research though.
That’s like 100# of chicken they definitely don’t weigh that much
Even less if they flap their wings
This still plays in my head on at least a weekly basis. Often randomly but mostly every time I see a large group of any kind of bird.
This needs to be posted as a top level comment.
Then you have to ask what other animals are allowed? I could do with borrowing a goat to mow the grass in my garden and clear up the weeds around my allotment.
Or a cute sheep :D
Sorry. City ordinance only allows ugly sheep.
Which reminds me, your mom says hi /s
Found the Scot.
Hey, McLeod, get offa my ewe!
Pretty sure goats are more useful for eating weeds compared to sheep who are too fussy to eat things like brambles.
I just watched a video of exactly this. The goat guy brings in a few sheep because they eat the grass that goats don’t care for.
True, would depend on what you need eating
There’s a guy in my town who keeps a herd of goats and rents them out for brush clearance. I assume his neighbors hate it but there seems to be nothing they can do about it. I’ve been meaning to ask him if he sells goat meat.
I love the city chickens. Bok bok!
I have lived next door to chickens, which is fine, but roosters? Those fuckers start screaming at 4 a.m., no joke. It’s a lot louder than you imagine.
So, if your rooster turns up dead, shit happens.
No one wants a rooster anyways. They suck lol
I disagree, and my rooster is an asshole.
They serve multiple purposes, and can be good company.
My rooster? Saved the hens multiple times. Literally broke a spur off in a dog’s ass. A pit bull at that. Ran that bitch off, and that’s after losing said spur, handfuls of feathers, and dripping blood of his own.
Before that series of attacks by the dog, he was chill as fuck. He’d just follow me around, picking things up and putting them down so everyone would know it was there. Sometimes, he’d be in the mood and jump up to be held. He’d come inside sometimes and just sit on my kid’s lap getting petted.
It’s why, despite him having gone full asshole after we lost hens, I still want him around. I’m hoping my current program will get him back to his old self. But even if he doesn’t, I want him.
Every now and then, that old self peeks through, and we have little moments of mutual respect and affection, and it’s awesome.
He’s not the loving companion my hen is, that’s not how roosters roll usually. But he was my buddy, and I hope we will be again.
In the Philippines roosters are permanently broken and mostly roost at night including in the middle of Manila because they use them for fighting.
Next step is to buy 25 roosters and thick bedroom windows.
Extra points for guinea fowl. (They are EXTRA loud)
We had turkeys for a bit, and one of them we named Thanksgiving because holy fuck it would NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP! It would just scream into the void all day.
Did the void ever scream back?
No, but I think the Fox that got him did.
My town allows chickens but doesn’t allow roosters in city limits, and I assume most towns are that way so I would be cautious there
Exactly.
Nothing is stopping me from calling my neighbours & telling them that I think their goat is in my garden.
No matter how many times they tell me they don’t have a goat, there’s no proof that I can’t assume whatever goat that’s in my garden isn’t theirs regardless of status or reality of said goat or garden.
L about to have 25 roosters.
My city doesn’t allow roosters =(
That being said, I hear one every morning and won’t tell because:
- Momma ain’t raised no snitch
- I like chickens =)
Interesting, so there’s no way to like produce Chicken continually legally.
everyone i know with chickens in town isn’t hatching anyway. you need more space and a LOT more effort.
anyway their lifespan is long enough that you can use your egg-savings to buy new birds and still end up spending less money than if you’d just been buying eggs the whole time.
Makes sense. I live in a very different environment. People walk their cows around and usually let their goats and chickens roam around free during the day and they come home before night. There’s no freedom of speech really but there’s a lot of freedom that doesn’t exist in more developed places. Like today I can buy a plot and set up a completely off grid house with a whole farm without any permits whatsoever for anything.
i don’t mind the chicken setup specifically because it means farmers around here get to raise extra birds and sell em directly to city folk for a way higher profit than they’d get otherwise. to be fully transparent tho, my town allows something like 5 hens and 1 rooster per household, so we COULD hatch. reckon people just don’t want the hassle haha
They’re not legal in city limits here, thankfully.
The neighbour’s name? Leonardo Bonacci
