So, a scene popped into my head. One of a handful. I’m not sure how they’ll come out, if they ever do, but I reckon that it might be welcome here rather than waiting for a different prompt, or trying to get everything in one place before it does come out.
First draft status, and I’m not sure if the end bit works or not, so it might stand change if I manage to get more out of me.
Heroes Fall, third short.
“Baby, come to bed. It’s three in the morning.”
“Can’t. Don’t wanna do it again.”
“I wasn’t going to jump your bones. C’mon, you’ve got a ton of ammo already. It’ll be enough.”
“You still make me laugh, Ms Kincaid. I want spares to give to the national guard this time. Last time, five of them were pinned down and got taken out by Devastation. I gotta try loading them up. They’re the only ones that died last pass.”
“Shush. You only call me Ms Kincaid when you’re feeling nostalgic. How many more do you need?”
“I’m always nostalgic for you. It took a hundred rounds to knock him out last time. Would be easier if I could just kill him. Wanna give them double that.”
“Move over ‘Eternus’, let me help. I’ll load powder, you finish, okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay love. Thanks Ev.”
“You know, one of these days I’m going to retire from the network and turn full time reloader. Any chance we’ll be able to get to my parents’ this weekend? I want to tell them the news.”
“Not sure. I only took a short break after the last run. Two days, then I ate lead salad and came back. But I think things were clear enough that the team didn’t need me on the origin cycle. Worst case, it takes me a few weeks to handle whatever might come up and then I’ll be able to free it up.”
“Have you thought more about the pills?”
"Yeah, a little. Was pondering on it while I was working. I’ve gotten better control over how far I go back each time. Origin cycle, it was always that same day, or the night before, no more than twenty four hours though. After I cycled back when the Kitain killed me, it was all over the place. Weeks, months, a year in one case. I’m just worried that a suicide pill might fuck things up.
I’ve been poisoned a few thousand times, and Rabid sure loved to add toxins to his disease aura. Always came through fine But if anything fucks my memory, I don’t know what might happen. Maybe voluntary changes things. Can’t risk that."
“Donald, you say you blow your brains out often enough that I can’t get the image out of my head despite never seeing it.”
“Sorry Ev.”
“That’s not my point. Shush. If your actual brain being shredded doesn’t screw your memory, why would a cocktail of gentler things?”
“I don’t know. Most of my deaths are sudden, fast. The ones that haven’t been were at least with me conscious right until the end. Every cocktail you and the doc have suggested includes something to knock me out, and they’re slow so it doesn’t hurt. What if that fucks things up? What if I’ve already tried it, and I’m on a permanent loop that I can’t fix unless I don’t take them? What if. What if. That should be my fucking call name.”
“I wish…”
“Yeah, love?”
“I just wish it was easier. Better. Different.”
“I’m used to it now, if I’m being honest. There’s times I think about doing repeats for the good things.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Nah. Don’t want to spoil them. Our first date. I had to repeat that once, and I was terrified I’d fuck it up. Trying to navigate the little things that make us us? What if I fucked it up and you hated me?”
“Oh, Don, baby, I’ll always love you. I always will have loved you. Whatever it is that makes you recycle, it wouldn’t dare try to steal that from us. It would be too cruel.”
“I love you Evelyn. More than I love anything in this whole fucking universe. I’d let it all fucking burn for one night with you. Let’s get some sleep.”
I’ll let it all fucking burn if the Kitain take her again. Take her and just run.
I like it and think it adds a nice little happiness for the protagonist who needed some after the first scene :)
I’m not sure about the last sentence. It’s not clear to me what is meant. Is it that the protagonist will rewind time to before her death and then run off with her (to protect her) and leave everyone else to die?
If they can rewind time, and have done so for the equivalent of 1000s of years, I feel like “losses” would be insignificant and routine. I’m sure it would be exhausting, but at the same time, they could just do a few lifetimes of vacation to counter the burnout and then get back to trying to save the world.
Although, if they had watch Ev die or be with her as she dies, I could see that being extremely taxing on their psyche. But again, the few lifetimes of “running away”, I think, would allow him to recover. Though maybe this is pre- his first vacation lifetime and he’s trying to justify the “vacation” run to himself.
Well I’ll end my stream of thought here, hopefully it’s clear I like it and find the scene interesting. If we’re lucky, you’ll be interested in writing to some more prompts in the future :)
Edit: just saw you had previous posts and read them. Enjoyed those too, though had difficulty following the “I still do not understand. It’s a religious letter.” scene. First time reading through it I thought it was a conversation with 3 characters, but now I think its just the vampire and demon.
The writingprompts c/ on .world got shuttered in favor of this one, and I switched to this account as well, so not everything is in this account history.
The scene with Tobias has two vampires and Tobias’ demon, a canine looking rabishu (a type of spirit with real world mythology, but very different from the fictional version used by me).
That is what he means. If he can’t keep her, he doesn’t care about the rest of the universe. He’ll take whatever they can manage to have until…
It may help to know that the origin of the character was from a previous prompt about a “groundhog day” superhero. I’ll copy in the story as a separate response here.
But, originally, he led a fairly linear life. The backward skips were bad, but he didn’t lose much. He gained because he could undo the bad.
But then he went waaaay back. And he’s been bouncing back and forth through the same span of time ever since.
He had gotten inured to death. He accepted that he was just gloomy to keep going, seeing the death, but apart from it because the only thing that mattered was fixing those deaths.
And then he met her. And his entire universe shifted. He’s seen her die. At least once, likely more. That’s breaking him. That’s shifting his goal from saving the world to just not losing her.
Which is probably a bit spoilerish, but the whole thing is burning in my brain currently, so it needs out
The added context your link to your previous story helps. Thanks :)
Your writing is fun and the plot is interesting, are you thinking of turning this story/character into a full short-story/book/novel? I’d be interested in reading more.
So, a scene popped into my head. One of a handful. I’m not sure how they’ll come out, if they ever do, but I reckon that it might be welcome here rather than waiting for a different prompt, or trying to get everything in one place before it does come out.
First draft status, and I’m not sure if the end bit works or not, so it might stand change if I manage to get more out of me.
Heroes Fall, third short.
“Baby, come to bed. It’s three in the morning.”
“Can’t. Don’t wanna do it again.”
“I wasn’t going to jump your bones. C’mon, you’ve got a ton of ammo already. It’ll be enough.”
“You still make me laugh, Ms Kincaid. I want spares to give to the national guard this time. Last time, five of them were pinned down and got taken out by Devastation. I gotta try loading them up. They’re the only ones that died last pass.”
“Shush. You only call me Ms Kincaid when you’re feeling nostalgic. How many more do you need?”
“I’m always nostalgic for you. It took a hundred rounds to knock him out last time. Would be easier if I could just kill him. Wanna give them double that.”
“Move over ‘Eternus’, let me help. I’ll load powder, you finish, okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay love. Thanks Ev.”
“You know, one of these days I’m going to retire from the network and turn full time reloader. Any chance we’ll be able to get to my parents’ this weekend? I want to tell them the news.”
“Not sure. I only took a short break after the last run. Two days, then I ate lead salad and came back. But I think things were clear enough that the team didn’t need me on the origin cycle. Worst case, it takes me a few weeks to handle whatever might come up and then I’ll be able to free it up.”
“Have you thought more about the pills?”
"Yeah, a little. Was pondering on it while I was working. I’ve gotten better control over how far I go back each time. Origin cycle, it was always that same day, or the night before, no more than twenty four hours though. After I cycled back when the Kitain killed me, it was all over the place. Weeks, months, a year in one case. I’m just worried that a suicide pill might fuck things up.
I’ve been poisoned a few thousand times, and Rabid sure loved to add toxins to his disease aura. Always came through fine But if anything fucks my memory, I don’t know what might happen. Maybe voluntary changes things. Can’t risk that."
“Donald, you say you blow your brains out often enough that I can’t get the image out of my head despite never seeing it.”
“Sorry Ev.”
“That’s not my point. Shush. If your actual brain being shredded doesn’t screw your memory, why would a cocktail of gentler things?”
“I don’t know. Most of my deaths are sudden, fast. The ones that haven’t been were at least with me conscious right until the end. Every cocktail you and the doc have suggested includes something to knock me out, and they’re slow so it doesn’t hurt. What if that fucks things up? What if I’ve already tried it, and I’m on a permanent loop that I can’t fix unless I don’t take them? What if. What if. That should be my fucking call name.”
“I wish…”
“Yeah, love?”
“I just wish it was easier. Better. Different.”
“I’m used to it now, if I’m being honest. There’s times I think about doing repeats for the good things.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Nah. Don’t want to spoil them. Our first date. I had to repeat that once, and I was terrified I’d fuck it up. Trying to navigate the little things that make us us? What if I fucked it up and you hated me?”
“Oh, Don, baby, I’ll always love you. I always will have loved you. Whatever it is that makes you recycle, it wouldn’t dare try to steal that from us. It would be too cruel.”
“I love you Evelyn. More than I love anything in this whole fucking universe. I’d let it all fucking burn for one night with you. Let’s get some sleep.”
I’ll let it all fucking burn if the Kitain take her again. Take her and just run.
ayyy more Eternus content. Glad this sparked enough inspiration for you to continue it! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for letting me know about the new scene.
I like it and think it adds a nice little happiness for the protagonist who needed some after the first scene :)
I’m not sure about the last sentence. It’s not clear to me what is meant. Is it that the protagonist will rewind time to before her death and then run off with her (to protect her) and leave everyone else to die?
If they can rewind time, and have done so for the equivalent of 1000s of years, I feel like “losses” would be insignificant and routine. I’m sure it would be exhausting, but at the same time, they could just do a few lifetimes of vacation to counter the burnout and then get back to trying to save the world.
Although, if they had watch Ev die or be with her as she dies, I could see that being extremely taxing on their psyche. But again, the few lifetimes of “running away”, I think, would allow him to recover. Though maybe this is pre- his first vacation lifetime and he’s trying to justify the “vacation” run to himself.
Well I’ll end my stream of thought here, hopefully it’s clear I like it and find the scene interesting. If we’re lucky, you’ll be interested in writing to some more prompts in the future :)
Edit: just saw you had previous posts and read them. Enjoyed those too, though had difficulty following the “I still do not understand. It’s a religious letter.” scene. First time reading through it I thought it was a conversation with 3 characters, but now I think its just the vampire and demon.
The original heroes fall is too long to repost in one comment.
But the link is https://lemmy.world/comment/16264684
The writingprompts c/ on .world got shuttered in favor of this one, and I switched to this account as well, so not everything is in this account history.
The scene with Tobias has two vampires and Tobias’ demon, a canine looking rabishu (a type of spirit with real world mythology, but very different from the fictional version used by me).
That was a fun read thanks for sharing it :)
That is what he means. If he can’t keep her, he doesn’t care about the rest of the universe. He’ll take whatever they can manage to have until…
It may help to know that the origin of the character was from a previous prompt about a “groundhog day” superhero. I’ll copy in the story as a separate response here.
But, originally, he led a fairly linear life. The backward skips were bad, but he didn’t lose much. He gained because he could undo the bad.
But then he went waaaay back. And he’s been bouncing back and forth through the same span of time ever since.
He had gotten inured to death. He accepted that he was just gloomy to keep going, seeing the death, but apart from it because the only thing that mattered was fixing those deaths.
And then he met her. And his entire universe shifted. He’s seen her die. At least once, likely more. That’s breaking him. That’s shifting his goal from saving the world to just not losing her.
Which is probably a bit spoilerish, but the whole thing is burning in my brain currently, so it needs out
The added context your link to your previous story helps. Thanks :)
Your writing is fun and the plot is interesting, are you thinking of turning this story/character into a full short-story/book/novel? I’d be interested in reading more.