I hate how demanding people are about being smiled at. A lot of people are really unhelpful unless you sit there smiling at them and laugh at their jokes. Mostly men but I’ve met other women like this too.
A lot of people just don’t smile naturally. Rbf is real. I’ve taught myself to smile and laugh but it takes so much energy. I’m so tired of this performative nonsense. I shouldn’t have to pretend to smile and laugh at my boss in order for him to treat me nicely and take me seriously.
I’m tired. So very tired.
More ladies need to be comfortable with performing acts of violence. We are brought up to not do that, to be kind, to accept that’s how life is, but if someone is threatening your safety fucking going feral!
I will chew through someone’s wrist like a squirrel on some important car wires if someone grabbed me. Those eyes are going bye bye. Zero hesitation. Ever feel a nut burst like a grape? You wanna???
Men need to be more afraid of harassing us than they are now. Sure you got strength but we got MF-ing gremlin energy.
(If you’re wondering about the squirrel thing, that happened to my husband’s car once haha)
Be careful with this. In the US, the right to self defense is not universal. It’s entirely dependent on the demographic characteristics of the people involved.
Cishet white male: unrestricted right to self-defense.
Cishet white female: provisional right to self-defense, usually if facing threat or murder, rape, or assault by a stranger. (If you know your attacker, self-defense does not apply.)
Everyone else: no right to self-defense exists. You will be prosecuted for assault or murder after unambiguous cases of self-defense. The one thing the United States will never accept is minority groups using lethal violence to protect themselves. Even most Democrats would be appalled by this. Deep down, most liberals feel minorities are supposed to be protected by benevolent white people; they’re not supposed to defend themselves.
Yeppers. Just saw a court case where a woman shattered the arm of a teenage boy trying to forcefully enter her home. The parents took her to court, saying she used excessive force on their would-be intruder son.
They won because the boy wasn’t fully inside her home yet… The woman had to pay his medical bills.
Hard to squirrel bite and grape nuts when you’ve been roofied. So embrace your gremlin energy but also exercise “reasonable” caution.
It’s completely fucking UNreasonable how much society tolerates and expects violence and abuse perpetrated on women simply because they are women. (It’s another proof trans women are women btw)
I’ll never forget the morning a friend called me up because she got roofied the night before. At least she was pretty sure she did. A blackout after two drinks.
Thankfully nothing happened because she went to sleep it off in her car. We spent the better part of a morning trying to track down her missing phone, which she left at the pub.
While we sat on a bus bench and debated whether she should go to the hospital, some square-jawed older man gave us a grin and said we’d be prettier if we smiled.
Yeah, I remember when my old roommate told me about how she had been roofied the night before. She was not a lightweight by any means and after her first drink she started feeling drunk. Thankfully, we lived within walking distance of the bar and her friends were there. She said she grabbed one friend’s arm, said something is really wrong, and they practically carried her home.
What’s really scary is that, at least at the time, it was a really popular Friday/weekend bar that everyone went to and it wasn’t the first story I heard about that place.
What’s really scary is that, at least at the time, it was a really popular Friday/weekend bar that everyone went to and it wasn’t the first story I heard about that place.
That’s exactly why the place was targeted. If it were some deserted neighborhood dive bar with only three regulars in it, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out who slipped the roofie. The guys who do this target places with large crowds, where no one can know everyone, and where they can slip in and out without being remembered. They just want to be another face in the crowd. It’s hard to grab a roofied girl and pull the whole, “my friend is drunk, I’m going to take her home now” bit if it’s a tight-knit bar where everyone knows everyone. And ultimately, from the point of view of the predator, there’s no point in roofieing someone if you can’t bring them home with you. The roofie is a means to an end, not an end in itself.
I know someone who was spiked too… and god knows how many who may have thought the spiking was just the impact of alcohol. It’s really scary
Alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug, so I do wonder if spiking is partly due to wanting the power of causing the vulnerability rather than the victim drinking themselves
I had to carry my friend home from the bar one night last year. She was on her second drink and was suddenly incapacitated. Pure coincidence that there was a guy pestering us most of the night when our partners were otherwise distracted.
I’m so glad nothing happened to your friend.
There’s a bar near where I live and they have an organized rape system. Bartenders, bouncers and owner in on it. Cops know, cops partake and women get raped every weekend. We warn people but you’re never going to get to everybody :( I’d like to hear more about how there’s no rape culture from guys who are the real victims though.
Jesus christ.
:(
Jesus. That’s scary, and I know because I was scared as fuck when she called me.
Considering we didn’t go to the hospital because she said it’d be a long wait just to tell her what she already knows, I wonder how often this really happens. Everyone I know has a story.
Sorry, what is roofing? I’ve not heard of that word before.
Putting a strong sedative hypnotic into someone’s drink. Also called date rape.
Slipping a blackout-inducing drug, usually a benzodiazepine called Rohypnol, into someone’s drink without them noticing, with the intent to incapacitate them.
Per Wikipedia:
Nicknamed “roofies” or “floonies”, it is widely known for its use as a date rape drug.[6][7]
Oh, yikes! Thanks for the explanation ( @velma@sh.itjust.works too)
And the -ing form would be roofieing, with roofying an acceptable alternative.
It’s when someone slips drugs, usually rohypnol or GHB, into a person’s drink.
There has been a serious regression over the last ten years or so. I thought that 2010-2016 era online was the worst of it, with gamergate and all, but I see a lot of the same sentiment again these days.
IDLES has a great verse in the song ‘Mother’ that resonates with me:
Sexual violence doesn’t start and end with rape / It starts in our books and behind our school gates / Men are scared women will laugh in their face / Whereas women are scared it’s their lives men will take /
Fascism is coming for all of us in time, women and minorities will be first, however :(.
Have you read the rules for this community?
Fuck no. Why, did I break one?
Just asking if you’d seen them before commenting. I’ve run into you before elsewhere.
That is to say, I usually see you in the politics comms. Fascism isn’t really a topic that’s brought up here.
Unless it’s an incredibly niche community I usually don’t read the rules before commenting.
Yeah I have vague memories of you calling me mysogenist despite me being an egalitarian, lol.
Yeah this is a women’s only community and no politics.
You do enjoy ruffling feathers lol
Oh shit, my bad! I didn’t know it was women’s only. Also no politics in a women’s only sub? That seems strange to me. Not my place to say though, I’ll let you guys alone. Thanks for gently explaining to me, lol.
It’s not a woman’s job to smile for a man’s pleasure.
