Yesterday was a real red letter day for me - I spoke to my sister on the phone, and we actually had a pleasant conversation!
We hadn’t talked more than about five words since about 2004, when she found out what my “lifestyle” entailed. I had resigned myself to never seeing her again, and only got updates from my brother.
But now she’s separated from her husband, and seems to have softened her attitude. She’s even talking about visiting with the kids next year.
I may have cried a bit, I’m so happy … hell, I’m tearing up a bit just writing this :')
I think it’s really cool that you are willing to have a relationship with her again. I don’t expect anyone to allow someone into their life that makes them feel unsafe, but if you feel safe, I’m a big believer in rehabilitation over retribution. I grew up in a conservative religious environment, and I was well into adulthood before I learned better. I also feel like I become a more well-adjusted, compassionate person as I get older, so I like to believe that others do too.
I learned a lot from when I quit my life of crime and managed to slowly have a relationship with my mother.
Most people need to work on their empathy, in a natural society like humans evolved for, where you have about a hundred people in your life, that can happen naturally … but these days? It needs a good shove, maybe from a humbling experience.
I think that’s how I might be able to get ob with her. She’s come down to ground with a bump, and maybe realises that I’m not just something to look down on.
If I can make it work it would be so nice … I hope you, too, can cultivate positive relationships for yourself :-)
Yesterday was a real red letter day for me - I spoke to my sister on the phone, and we actually had a pleasant conversation!
We hadn’t talked more than about five words since about 2004, when she found out what my “lifestyle” entailed. I had resigned myself to never seeing her again, and only got updates from my brother.
But now she’s separated from her husband, and seems to have softened her attitude. She’s even talking about visiting with the kids next year.
I may have cried a bit, I’m so happy … hell, I’m tearing up a bit just writing this :')
I think it’s really cool that you are willing to have a relationship with her again. I don’t expect anyone to allow someone into their life that makes them feel unsafe, but if you feel safe, I’m a big believer in rehabilitation over retribution. I grew up in a conservative religious environment, and I was well into adulthood before I learned better. I also feel like I become a more well-adjusted, compassionate person as I get older, so I like to believe that others do too.
I learned a lot from when I quit my life of crime and managed to slowly have a relationship with my mother.
Most people need to work on their empathy, in a natural society like humans evolved for, where you have about a hundred people in your life, that can happen naturally … but these days? It needs a good shove, maybe from a humbling experience.
I think that’s how I might be able to get ob with her. She’s come down to ground with a bump, and maybe realises that I’m not just something to look down on.
If I can make it work it would be so nice … I hope you, too, can cultivate positive relationships for yourself :-)