Parenthood.
There’s a lot of mom-shaming that comes from other women for a variety of reasons. I wish there was more respect for the millions of ways one can parent their children and more comradery amongst moms instead of competition. Don’t even get me started on vocal childfree women.
Raising children is so difficult and not just physically. It’s incredibly healing to be able to lean on other women on this topic.
Don’t even get me started on vocal childfree women.
I was with you until you got all judgmental about other women’s parenting choices.
Just fyi, childfree women still face a lot of discrimination and disrespect.
Vocal is the key word there.
I have lovely friends who have chosen not have to children. It’s great when people choose their own path and others respect it. I was on the fence when it came to having kids for most of my life.
Then there’s people who forcefully tell you that not only have they chosen to not have children, but that any woman who chooses to do so are just breeders and children are crotchfruit and fuck trophies that should only be seen and not heard.
There’s a significant difference. And my own path has crossed with other women who have judged my decision for parenthood harshly based only on their own belief that what they have chosen for themselves is superior to all other choices.
Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.
Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.
I’d hazard a guess (though obviously I have no direct experience thereof) that it gets worse when you have a child. I could not believe the sheer gall of male coworkers “advising” pregnant and newly-mothering colleagues on how to live their lives when i was quiet enough to tolerate that shit in my presence.
Mothers primarily are the ones to take off work for sick days or appointments to start. Maternity leave painted as vacation is a common one! So many it’s hard to list to be honest.
I’m sympathetic to the pressures and dismissive attitudes that childfree women often get for sure. I once thought that I wouldn’t have any children. Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized. I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.
Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized.
And tragically some of the worst scrutineers are fellow women. (This is a general pattern in the western what-passes-for left, actually: the left treats fellow leftists as enemies more often than the actual enemy!)
I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.
The broader left in general, and feminism in specific, would be far better off and far more likely to be in the agenda-setting role if more people acted this way, yes. The right learned that lesson and is now winning every key battle, one after the other. I wish we could learn it back.
There is no reason that women who choose not to have children should be any less vocal than others. Being forceful is not the same as being vocal.
Come on now, I explained what I meant by vocal.
Yes, after the fact.
Edit: To be clear, I appreciate that you intended for your initial comment to be benign and aimed only at childfree women who are militant and rude about it. However, I do not think that you appreciate how your comment was not benign in its choice of wording.
And how benign does it seem when you keep pressing it after the explanation?
(Hint: not even slightly.)
This thread is supposed to be about women supporting one another.
I replied to someone who was not being supportive of other women and who then replied without seeming to understand how what they said was not supportive of other women.
And you chose to make mention of your offense and I explained myself because I did not intend to offend childfree women who aren’t assholes about their choice.
We can’t extend some grace to each other even on a post about women supporting each other?
I just extended said grace to you. I acknowledged that you did not mean for your words to sound harmful. I didn’t expect you to get angry or defensive about me expressing my acceptance and explaining why your words might be offensive to other people.
I’m child free, a choice I made when I was 16 (!) and have never wavered from.
I still despise the loud, judgy child free crowd.
It’s rather like how I’m an atheist, but can’t stand Atheists (note the capitalization).
I’m pretty thankful for vocal, obnoxious, childfree women. I have two and if I still thought it was my social obligation I might have had 5. I adore kids. I do not love that only people who want to have children get to be loud and take up space with their hopes and dreams. I did read down the thread, however, I think people who are in the majority sometimes don’t realize how “vocal” or “obnoxious” the can come off in the spaces they take up (the majority of space).
I never said that only people who have children get to be loud and take up space with their hopes and dreams.
If you’ve never encountered a childfree person who hates children and is vocal about it, to the point of calling other women “breeders”, you don’t understand what I meant.
Everyone should choose the path that’s best for them when it comes to having or not having children. And everyone else should respect that.
Women should spend more time teaching each other about open source software.
Today I showed Revanced to an acquaintance. Her mind was blown and she wanted it. But she has an iphone, so no Revanced for her. I explained how Tim Cook doesn’t allow revanced because he wants a cut of the in app transactions for youtube premium.
Respect choices that other women make, even if they differ from the choices you’d make.
- I have chosen not to procreate. Respect that choice, don’t undermine it constantly.
- Others have chosen to procreate. Respect that choice, don’t deride it constantly.
- I have chosen to have a career in place of “homemaking”. Respect that choice, don’t undermine it with snark.
- Others have chosen to be homemakers. Respect that choice instead of calling them “traitors”.
Basically, if a woman has made a choice for her life and it doesn’t directly (that’s a very important word here!) cause harm to others, at the very least shut the fuck up about it if you disagree with it. Ideally support the fact she has that choice.
Menopause! I had no idea what was going on! All these symptoms I didn’t know were connected. More women should talk about it. Younger women deserve to know what will eventually happen to them.
This is a huge one! My mom’s life imploded due to her inability to handle peri and menopause. Thank goodness for the internet on this one, though it would be so much more helpful to hear from other women in person.
There’s plenty of info given to girls as they approach puberty (we were given booklets, free sanitary products and the lilets woman came to give us a talk)
But as older women we’re reliant on older sisters, aunties and friends if we’re lucky (or the internet)
Its quite a hidden rite of passage compared to how it all started
This one!! We need to talk about menopause, hormones, and everything involved more. So many folks look at menopause as a time when women become “broken” so it’s not discussed and makes us feel shameful. It’s not shameful!! It’s natural!! You’re normal!!
I’m very lucky that my friend group has 3 women at different stages of our lives. My one friend in her 50s is going through the hot flashes and hormonal cycles right now, she always talks about it with us. I’m in my 40s and going through the perimenopause phase; the wild hormone fluctuations with accompanying mood swings, and the sleep deprivation, the sleep one is new and I HATE it. My other friend is in her late 30s and listens to us so she knows what she’s going to experience and will be able to identify when symptoms start.
In a general sense, positive affirmation.
There’s a lot of women highly negative towards each other when they have never interacted previously, especially if the other woman is good looking.
My wife and daughters have dealt with dirty looks, catty behaviour and backstabbing their whole lives.
Even in line at a store my daughter and I were just standing there waiting, and the next lady in line sees my daughter and immediately shoots daggers from her eyes. It was so obvious my daughter and I burst out laughing.
My wife makes it a point to compliment other women. Like: I like your dress, you makeup looks amazing, thqt colour looks great on you, etc. It is so foreign to many of the recieivers that they don’t know how to respond.
But recently she did run into a lady again, that remembered her from a comment, and came up and thanked her for the good vibes, saying it stood out to her and made her day. And that no random lady has ever given her a positive comment.
I totally agree with you. And welcome to WomensStuff! We are a trans inclusive women only community and ask cis men don’t post ❤️
Oops. Popped up in my what’s new feed. But its the interweb, how would you know if I was a cis man? :)
By reading.
Adopted children are a thing, just saying
Please get your masculine ass out of the women’s only group you utter fuckhead.
Jesus fucking Christ, your kind can’t take politeness and then gets all fucking whiny like a toddler when the alternative is used.
Go away, fuckhead. You’re literally not wanted here. Fuck off.
Wow, project much.
Everything.
