I didn’t think you were talking about you as a partner for me at all lol. So funny how you had to clarify that twice.

And I get all, but my position still stands. But reading the post again, I guess my initial comment doesn’t really have much to do with it. In the back of my mind I’ll be feeling not-so-special. Best if I stay single until I work on that insecurity properly.

Yhhhh but it’s sorta the same. Like, how many other girls have you used that on? What were their reactions? It just makes me think like that but I have issues…

I don’t like that though, being on the receiving end. Thinking about how you’ve done this with other girls. Not a good feeling…

You’re clearly not going to understand me on this. I’m done.

To be Frank, I can’t see that happening so anyone suggesting me to see a professional it’s just not going to happen.

And, I have A LOT of water weight that keeps me going believe it or not.

I’ve done a lot to my body over my life. I know this is what I need.

I’m overweight. If I was underweight, then sure, what I’m doing is wrong and unhealthy and dangerous. But I’m not…

Its not that I feel like a failure for eating food either…

And besides. I’d never be able to kill myself through not eating because, if it wasn’t clear enough, I HAVE BINGE EATING DISORDER. And if you don’t know what that is, look up obese people. So in other words, don’t you worry, I get my calories IN, I’m sure more than you.

Sory but I’m sick of all the ‘get help’ comments.

I’m not asking for help…

I initially wanted support earlier since I was feeling down. I got it.

I wasn’t asking for help on this.

Ok whatever. I don’t expect everyone to agree or understand.

Like I said, 7+ day dry fasts have been done.

I live in a cold country and am very sedentary. The 60 hours I just did without water was actually great and not in a delirious way. You don’t understand the abuse I’ve put my body through by drinking and eating way way too much, not listening to my body properly.

I know what I’m doing. For the regular person, I’m sure it would be bad for but I’m not the regular person.

Actually yes, some life forms do need to not eat and I’m one of them. Like I said, I eat waaay too much in general AND this has been done by many others before for therapeutic purposes etc and they’ve been fine. And what I meant by support me was support me in doing this. And by understand I meant truly understand my reasoning for doing so and see the genuine goodness that will come from it.

To be completely honest, I already feel like I’m dead. Decaying. If I die, it will be the rotten no good parts of me that die. I’m prepared for that to happen. My life sucks as it is. One week In the grand scheme of things is nothing.

I understand all that but what’s right for one person is wrong for another and vice versa.

7 days sounds extreme but it’s deeply healing for me

I don’t quite know why I’m trying to convince you or others…

There was some reasoning behind what I broke the fast with so I’m not too annoyed with myself about that.

Again, the basic biological need that I’m ignoring is not eating. I know my body more than you or anyone else. I can easily eat 20,000+ in one week consistently. And I probably do. Not that I’m counting. I’m not expecting many if any people to support me on this or understand.

And I’m not planning on “never eating again” by any means. That’s completely unrealistic. I just want to reset my nervous system from years upon years of damage. I definitely have BED.

What I meant was by spending all that money and eating when I didn’t need to I was putting my family including myself in jeopardy.

Maybe one day I’ll get to OMAD too.

Heavy on the can die. There are probably people who could die at 24 hours depending on the circumstances.

I am happy that I made it that far. Further than ever before. I have done 72 hours once but with water and black coffee though. But there was shame around how I ended it…(for reasons I won’t fully go into rn). I would like to get to 7 full days and I know I can and will even feel better for it. Someone else may have a completely different response than me if they try that but I know deep in my bones that it will be healing for me regardless of what anyone says. I know it’s been done before by others too.

I guess it’s a combination of the amount I spent and on what that feels indulgent along with that I wasn’t actually hungry etc. and about it endangering my family, it does sound far fetched or quite extreme of a statement but it feels true and I won’t go into why or how right now.

Yes. It is about stress and for some like me, eating is a stressor. Alongside talking to a professional which honestly I can’t see myself doing atm.

I can see how it seems that way but it’s more about the way they are and how I relate to that. G is better with people, not hiding away and when I’m in a state of gratitude I find it easier to engage with people. Whereas E has the opposite experience and is cast away from the group and I find when I’m in that position I feel envy… I’m not explaining this very well but it’s a “shower thought” I had

Enlighten me?

OMAD for 8 years is amazing.

I don’t think it’s at the expense of my own health since I feel better for it and I am drawn to it for a reason. It feels healing. There’s so much food noise for me it’s practically all I think about and I hate that.

I suppose I feel the need to hide the fact that I did this. It feels too indulgent and it’s too much of a consistent thing for me, bad habit. I’ve never dry fasted that long before though.

Doing what I’ve just done feels like I’ve just diseased myself and put my family in jeopardy. Sounds dramatic but eating in this state feels wrong. I don’t feel truly grateful as I know I could be. I understand how this could sound damaging but it’s my truth. I feel sick and like I’m not letting my body properly heal everytime I eat or drink something.

I explain why in the post I made just before this one.

Thank you. I feel so sad right now. And bad that I feel sad. I want to be a happy positive force. A light worker like people in my family. But I’m just a disappointment and I stink.

I crave many things I’ve never had. Seems pretty easy to understand how…

ETA- I have met him. It’s not just any old man I want btw.

Im not craving pork but that seems to be the best substitute for what I am craving

The planets and the stars probably

Yes 💜

I just got my period so it was most likely due to PMS/PMDD

I’m not planning or preparing