Solution: Suck it up.

Yes, I believe that’s the current administration’s advice as well.

I was confused as to why no one suggested this yet lol

Companies keep ghost jobs active for several reasons:

• To signal growth during hiring freezes
• To leave approved positions stuck in limbo due to budget cuts
• To satisfy internal posting requirements or HR quotas

To lie, got it.

Unfortunately, they forgot about the *male part of “Straight White Christian Male” apparently. Wish I felt sorry for them.

So leopards ate their face

Cancer confirmed lmfao

Damn. Never thought I’d see the day Americans turned their backs on Black Friday lmao

Kinda… creepy. Just the way this article is presented, I mean.

It almost sounds like “Now we can finally eat Max the dog and know exactly what he tastes like without really eating him! Isn’t that right Max?” lol

But if this is just a weird way of saying “we have synthetic pork now” then kudos I guess

What a pack of freaks lol

It’s almost like late stage capitalism incentivizes people like this to not give two shits what they say or do because there will never be consequences…

There is kind of an art to making good soup.

Unfortunately, a lot of college kids / 9-5ers I’ve seen have a set of exactly 2 or so dishes (not exaggerating) which they tend to regularly cycle through as their “cooked dinner of the week”, typically involving some kind of noodle and protein, usually some variation of hamburger helper, carbonara or chicken fajita, but I’ve seen vegetarian editions too.

Making soup is relatively easy, unless you

• Don’t lightly caramelize the mirepoix before adding water, so the broth is bland
• Don’t know what a mirepoix is
• Put the noodles in first
• Put the potatoes in last
• Want to try your hand at making “peanutbutter soup” because it looked cool on your buddy’s last instagram post
• Oversalted it and an article online recommended lemon juice to “absorb the sodium”

I’ve seen some travesties lmfao

Thank you for the reminder that The Simpsons was genuinely hilarious at one point lol

When the people slurp my decadent flavors, will they remember you… solicitors, hidden in a dark tower?

Or will they remember me? Their faithful, pantry pal.

Shame. Whatever happened to corporate integrity?

His predecessor would be spinning in her grave lol

I’m sorry, I read this headline like a Dr. Doofenschmirtz plan, ahahahahahaha

Alternatively, just… keeps Windows 10.

Am I crazy? Like, I would legitimately reinstall Windows 95 were it relatively feasible.

Is it really that ill-advised to rely on outside providers for additional security features?

America: The only country bad enough to enrage Canadians to the point of making a Scotsman blush.

The fakest fake news… Does anyone truly believe there’s enough actual tariff profit that he’d deliver on this? How could anyone be so naive lol

c/Not The Onion?

The chain closed in October after its Lebanese owner, Roland Beainy, was arrested by ICE.

Ohh… c/Leopards Ate My Face it is then…

Americans are permanent residents of the ICU at this point, glued to 24hr tiktok reel propaganda about how “third degree burns aren’t real, skin grafts cause autism”