What about the Arm Reattachment Device?!

That machine costs $100k per minute to run. And your insurance just laughed when we called.

“The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.” - Elon Musk

That’s how you know empathy is important. It apparently affects the rich’s bottom line. Plus, you know, if you have a brain, empathy is just a given…

Nap time is back!

Don’t worry. Amazon will pick it up, ruin the new season, and cancel it again.

New health care recommendation. Anytime you feel yourself getting sick, just tell yourself:

This one sentence sums up the failure of the American Dream.

Well, duh. The future is full of sponsorships! The question is, which corporation do you fight for?

And with greater VPNs

I live in Kansas City. This city has always had a physical racial divide, and now we’re getting split into a full 3 districts. It’s bullshit.

War is peace.

Incoming “Trump appeals to the Supreme Court…”

Why is “suspicious” quoted. Suspicious “travel patterns” == suspicious skin colors.

• Step 1: Tariff everybody!
• Step 2: Refund the importers.
• Step 3: Wait for the refunds to trickle down to the people who paid them…

“I’ll just veto it later…”

Well teeechnically… /s

Food is expensive. Fillers are cheap. The “food” turned into “food + filler”.