I’m 23 years old, but I look 14. I always looked younger than my age, even when I was in school. I’m 167 cm, which is the standard female height where I live, so I guess it’s my face, something with the shape of the bones, I dont know. I am sincerely convinced that this is the main reason why men have never approached me. I’m also quite socially awkward and not very pretty, but that’s usually not a problem for other girls, so I think it all comes down to my child-like features. I’ve never seen men look at me with desire, or that they’ve ever been shy when talking to me. I feel completely desexualized and lonely and I suffer so much because of it. This problem sounds so stupid and absurd, but that’s what I’m dealing with… At the very least, it’s probably worth being glad that men aren’t so attracted to childish features in reality…

Sorry if this post is too messy, I don’t feel well while I’m writing this.

  • zxqwas@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 month ago

    First of all you may be right or wrong about the reason. But you can’t really change looking young (other than by sitting around and waiting, which is not very fun). So you’ll get a lot of mileage by coming to terms with what you look like. For your own peace of mind if nothing else.

    You can artificially change your looks to a limited degree with makeup. I’m no expert.

    Are you putting yourself into positions where it’s socially acceptable and/or easy for men to approach you? Are you looking like you want to be approached? Headphones on while reading in the library makes me think you’ll want me dead if I say hi. Near me at the table at a social gathering it’s rude of me not to introduce myself and attempt some small talk (as long as you’re not talking to your friends already).

  • DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone
    0·
    1 month ago

    Guys are probably just as socially awkward as you. Maybe get in situations where you can have conversations with a group containing guys. They’ll soon pick up you’re an adult from how you talk, and you can see if you like each other as people, not just on looks.

  • Perspectivist@feddit.uk
    0·
    1 month ago

    It is a toupee fallacy to claim that bait/fake posts are always so easy to spot, but this is definitely a toupee here.

    Edit: Damn, people are seriously responding to this. I thought it couldn’t be more obvious.

  • daggermoon@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 month ago

    Try talking to them, keep a conversation going long enough they’ll realize they’re talking to an adult. Talking and making connections is the most important thing.

  • serpineslair@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    1 month ago

    Just pluck up the courage to hit on guys… 80% of men will find that in of itself attractive, especially the more shy ones. As another comment said, men are fucking simple.

  • gibmiser@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 month ago

    Ever try hanging out at a crowded bar? Anywhere where you have to show id to enter should help.

    Also, do you have female friends? You should be hanging out with them and doing things where you meet people as a group.

      • gibmiser@lemmy.world
        0·
        1 month ago

        I would say your lack of friends is probably more pressing of an issue and likely related to your lack of relationship experience.

        I offer you the same advice as for men. Work on friendships before you worry about intimate relationships. Friends can become relationships, but ideally they don’t and instead you meet people through friends who can vouch for you to their friends that your not psycho or a waste of someone’s time.

  • Bigfishbest@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 month ago

    1. That must be quite frustrating and difficult for your self esteem.

    2. You may be right, but you might be putting your own insecurities on to the motivations of others. The world from other people’s perspective don’t always align with what we think. Could what you describe be as easily explained by something else, perhaps even your insecurity about it?

    3. Have you discussed this issue with friends / family and gotten their honest thoughts? Do they agree that what you say could pose a problem?

    4. Have you attempted to make yourself look older with makeup and such? Are the results the same with as without?

    5. Do you have male friends you can ask if you are attractive?

    6. Are there republican conventions nearby? If the men there show interest and say you’re mature for your age, you may want to A. Run B. Conclude that your features may be a challenge.

    7. If men don’t approach and talk to you, try approaching and talking to them. Showing you’re interested and available is usually a turn on. Men are simple.

    Best of luck.