my dad didn’t bail me out of shit and i ended up not being able to speak up or advocate for myself about anything. since i never had a safe out i ended up desensitized to uncomfortable situations, spending the most formative decade of my life working out the suicidal ideation i had developed after getting bullied into an injury that i lacked the self-advocacy to speak up about. i sure would’ve appreciated a hand.
“weakens people” reads to me like the extremely flawed mouse utopia experiment that i still hear thrown around as a deflection to the reduction of suffering. fuck off with that bullshit.
The first part of learning to remove yourself from bad situations is learning to know when it’s time to bail.
And that’s a lot easier to make the call on when you have an actual way to make the exit.
Even as adults, nobody says “This situation sucks, you are all bad people, I don’t like it and I’m leaving.” No. We say “Aight well I’m working tomorrow so I gotta go” or any other number of convenient excuses we can create for ourselves as autonomous adults.
Tweens and young teens don’t have that autonomy. You’re at the party until it ends or you decide to leave - and deciding to leave looks suspicious as fuck when you already confirmed you were free, and you don’t have any adult responsibilities which could pull you away.
Plus, you probably don’t have your own transport. Leaving may require cooperation from someone who drives, so the very act of leaving is materially so much harder than as an adult, where you can literally just walk out.
I mean, yeah… That’s exactly what people are trying to tell you. Because saying, “This type of thing weakens people” and citing your own personal experience as evidence sure doesn’t sound like you’re open to “alternate approaches.”
my dad didn’t bail me out of shit and i ended up not being able to speak up or advocate for myself about anything. since i never had a safe out i ended up desensitized to uncomfortable situations, spending the most formative decade of my life working out the suicidal ideation i had developed after getting bullied into an injury that i lacked the self-advocacy to speak up about. i sure would’ve appreciated a hand.
“weakens people” reads to me like the extremely flawed mouse utopia experiment that i still hear thrown around as a deflection to the reduction of suffering. fuck off with that bullshit.
Exactly.
The first part of learning to remove yourself from bad situations is learning to know when it’s time to bail.
And that’s a lot easier to make the call on when you have an actual way to make the exit.
Even as adults, nobody says “This situation sucks, you are all bad people, I don’t like it and I’m leaving.” No. We say “Aight well I’m working tomorrow so I gotta go” or any other number of convenient excuses we can create for ourselves as autonomous adults.
Tweens and young teens don’t have that autonomy. You’re at the party until it ends or you decide to leave - and deciding to leave looks suspicious as fuck when you already confirmed you were free, and you don’t have any adult responsibilities which could pull you away.
Plus, you probably don’t have your own transport. Leaving may require cooperation from someone who drives, so the very act of leaving is materially so much harder than as an adult, where you can literally just walk out.
So yeah. Having a functional exit is a huge help.
My parents didn’t bail me out of shit, and I have no issues advocating for myself.
Ah, classic.
“This is the way I was raised and I turned out alright, so it must be the only correct way to parent.”
LMAO…. No more clasic than:
“My parent bailed me out of everything and I turned out alright, so it must be the only correct way to parent”
And
“My parent never bailed me out of anything and now I’m a psychotic mess! It’s a horrible way to parent!”
It’s almost like we’re all different or something! Which would totally explain the alternate approaches to the idea! Fascinating!
I mean, yeah… That’s exactly what people are trying to tell you. Because saying, “This type of thing weakens people” and citing your own personal experience as evidence sure doesn’t sound like you’re open to “alternate approaches.”
I said CAN weaken people. Ffs…. Nuance man.