So, I’m aware that Japan is not just “the anime country” and that people don’t act and talk like an anime character. However, I did see that some women in anime (specifically more tomboyish/casual women) would say “boku”. I’ve also seen the standard “watashi” and “atashi” for women, but I’m generally more tomboyish and was wondering if it was weird to introduce myself like 「僕は五月です。」(Boku wa Satsuki desu).

My real name isn’t actually Satsuki as I’m not Japanese, I’m just using the character’s name as a pseudonym.

Again, I know people don’t talk like anime characters, but I still wanna make sure it’s not weird to address myself as that just because I’m a tomboy. Or is it similar to someone in one of my languages saying “Tô confuso” as a woman? (“I’m confused” but said as a man, tô confusa is correct for a woman).

  • k0e3@lemmy.ca
    9·
    3 days ago

    As a Japanese person living in Japan, I can tell you that the bokukko phase eventually comes to an end. I wouldn’t be able to take any girl/woman seriously who is over the age of 16 if they refer to themselves as boku. Obviously, I wouldn’t be so mean as to say “don’t fucking talk like that you sound stupid,” because, hey, whatever floats your boat.

    I’m a guy in my 40s but I still say boku because it’s just a friendlier (if not kinda dorky) way to address myself.

    This aspect of Japanese is quite contextual though. In Okinawa, where I live, it’s pretty common for even adults to refer to themselves by name amongst friends and family, which is something only toddlers do in mainland.

    • glimse@lemmy.world
      2·
      3 days ago

      In Okinawa, where I live, it’s pretty common for even adults to refer to themselves by name amongst friends and family, which is something only toddlers do in mainland.

      Can you elaborate on that for a non-speaker?

      • k0e3@lemmy.ca
        3·
        3 days ago

        Sure!

        So we first start speaking by addressing ourselves by our own name.

        I would first start making sentences by saying something like:

        • K0e3’s toy (K0e3のおもちゃ), vs

        • my toy (ぼくのおもちゃ), or

        • K0e3 will do it (K0e3がやる), vs

        • I’ll do it (ぼくがやる)

        Eventually, we grow up and start using “appropriate” pronouns, but Okinawans tend to have this quirk where we keep saying something like, “oh that’s the beer k0e3 ordered,” when we should say, “that’s the beer I ordered.” This is more common in women, but I still catch myself don’t doing it to my parents, aunts, and uncles.

        One caveat is that I’m a dude in my 40s. There could be a generational difference too. Maybe people in their 50s or 30s didn’t grow up with that but it’s sometimes picked up on mainland media with heading akin to, “you won’t believe how Okinawans talk!”

        Edit: typo!

        • glimse@lemmy.world
          1·
          3 days ago

          Awesome, so basically talking in third person. Thanks for the breakdown!

          I recently learned about a theory that the concept of God comes from early humans developing an internal monologue and thinking it was an external voice. It’s quite a big stretch to make but it did get me thinking about how humans aren’t born with a sense of self. They develop it as children and not necessarily at the same age - apparently this often happens much later for kids with autism. And many develop it VERY early.

          So, all that to say…I suppose it makes sense why people think it’s childish! It’s the only way toddlers communicate.

          • k0e3@lemmy.ca
            1·
            3 days ago

            Yeah! Basically talking in third-person. I dunno why I didn’t just say that, haha. I’m glad it kinda made sense though. If you ever have any questions about Japanese, feel free to hit me up in the DMs. I also have a translator comm if you’re interested.

            • glimse@lemmy.world
              2·
              3 days ago

              You speak multiple languages fluently. You have double the vocabulary to remember so you get a permanent pass if you forget uncommon terms and phrases lol

              I’ll sub to that now!

              • k0e3@lemmy.ca
                1·
                2 days ago

                I only speak Japanese and English fluently. I speak French but not at a business/academic level because I grew up in the predominantly anglophone side of Canada. I speak a bit of German too because I’ve always been interested in their language and culture (beer is culture, right). Not sure if it counts, but I know profanities in different languages thanks to all my international friends lol

                The comm is for people who want some bits of translations done by multilingual — and human — Lemmies and hopefully get some more nuance and contextual understanding!

  • TwilightKiddy@scribe.disroot.orgEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    On the internet anything goes. In real life, how I understand it, it produces exactly the “tomboyish schoolgirl” vibe. I would definitely be surprised if an adult woman used that.

  • Rosy@sakurajima.moe
    8·
    3 days ago

    @satsunami it’s my understanding that boku is used more in anime and music than real life, and that it’s mainly used by children.

    Also, if you’re introducing yourself, I believe there are more natural sounding ways to do it. Just say your name and then desu. Pronouns aren’t used as much in Japanese as in English.

      • k0e3@lemmy.ca
        3·
        3 days ago

        Just to clarify, it’s used less because subjects and objects can also be inferred by context, not because we avoid pronouns specifically.

        It’s still proper in business situations to make it clear who is doing what.

        Just today, I had a meeting and people used jibun, watashi, boku, heisha, onsha, etc…

      • Drusas@fedia.io
        3·
        3 days ago

        Go with that or “(name) to moushimasu” depending on your audience. “~to moushimasu” is very frequently used even if you might feel that it seems overly formal. For sure casual? Desu. Any uncertainty or mixed company? Moushimasu.

    • Drusas@fedia.io
      1·
      3 days ago

      Very much this. In real conversation, pronouns are very rarely used at all.

  • sandwichsaregood@lemmy.world
    4·
    3 days ago

    The hierarchy and usage of pronouns is complicated and the rules are fast and loose. Using first person boku in many situations as a man, and maybe even more as woman, has somewhat childish connotations. I’ve known adult Japanese women who preferred to use ore if they wanted a more tomboyish tone.

  • Drusas@fedia.io
    3·
    3 days ago

    I have lived in Japan and never heard an adult woman use “boku”.

    Gendered language is still going very strong there. I was even corrected when I was new there and tried speaking in a mildly “masculine” way, such as ending a question in “ka” while speaking casually as opposed to using rising intonation to make it sound like a question.

    The nail that stands out gets hammered down.