Hi folks. Not a woman but I’m asking on behalf of my 19 year old daughter so I hope that’s ok.
She has a huge dermoid cyst on one of her ovaries. It’s slightly larger than a baby’s head.
We’re just out of a consult with the surgeon a few hours. Surgeon felt the ovary was salvageable and she basically has three options.
- Ovary removal, this can possibly / probably be done through keyhole. Results in about 25% reduction in fertility. She does want kids in the future but had mentally already said goodbye to the ovary until today.
- Horizontal incision. This will leave a scar about 13cm / 5 inches around her knicker line but if there are any complications during the surgery, the scar would extend to cover the width of her tummy. At the moment this is her preferred option because of lower visibility but we’re both kinda shaken after the whole thing.
- Vertical scar from her belly button. This makes the surgery easier and is the least likely to cause any complications.
He’s urging option 3.
The thing is she’s an athletic kid and very young obviously so the scarring is a big consideration for her. She would wear belly tops a lot and has since she was young. She doesn’t want a tattoo to cover.
We tried looking for examples of post-op scars online but they’re all fresh after surgery so obviously look very rough (and I presume some of them are “omg I got butchered” pics) so she was very upset after seeing those.
What I’m wondering is if any of you have experience or know anyone with experience with this and wouldn’t mind sharing what choice you made and if you’re happy with it and how well the scar healed over time?
Also if anyone would be willing to share a healed scar picture I could put you directly in touch with her (or you can of course DM me).
Thanks so much ❤️
I dated a woman who had several very large post-op scars from a series of lipomas that went up and down her arms. She wore long sleeves, and rarely spoke to people about them.
When she moved to our city, she was ready to return to her habit of hiding them until she made friends with us. My friends and I opened up about things we’d survived too. About a year into our relationship, she started wearing short sleeves. She liked it when it was hot outside.
Your daughter’s scared of something that could disfigure her. That’s understandable. It is scary. But without a doubt, that fear comes from societal expectations. If it’s something that scary, having support from her closest friends will do wonders for her courage. It means a lot to have a whole team rooting for you, no matter how it turns out.
She’s a brave girl. Sometimes, we just need good friends to have that extra boost in our courage. If your daughter’s okay with it, maybe ask them to give her some extra morale support.