If the modern representation of trans individuals were around when I was little, I probably would’ve wanted to transition. I grew up with boys, got along better playing with boys, and as a result always felt a little weird that I wasn’t one of them.
It was fine until puberty, when suddenly all the boys forgot that “friendship” exists and started seeing me as someone to date. It was as if the concept of platonic friendship was no longer an option. Quite a few years went by where I didn’t do anything different, but suddenly I was called “a tease” and told I was “leading them on.” Meanwhile, I still saw them the same as I always did. If I had been male, things could’ve continued the way they always had. The way people treat you differently once you start to grow boobs is bullshit.*
As an adult, I don’t care either way about gender (I consider myself agendered.) It’s still a shame that so many guys can’t tolerate platonic friendship with a woman.
*Except for my AMAB sisters. I imagine that experience was/is/will be freeing. It probably helps that you don’t have to experience it at the same time that all the boys around you are experiencing their own sexual awakening, making many of them see you (their one and only female friend) as their default love interest when you have yet to develop any such desires yourself. It’s not as fun as it sounds, y’all dodged a (barrage of) bullet(s).
I don’t really feel like I dodged bullets, but it does sound like we both had separate struggles during that time. I’m sorry you had to deal with that when you just wanted to stay friends with your guy friends. It’s worst when guys use terms like “friendzoning” and ascribe blame for not having feelings back.
If the modern representation of trans individuals were around when I was little, I probably would’ve wanted to transition. I grew up with boys, got along better playing with boys, and as a result always felt a little weird that I wasn’t one of them.
It was fine until puberty, when suddenly all the boys forgot that “friendship” exists and started seeing me as someone to date. It was as if the concept of platonic friendship was no longer an option. Quite a few years went by where I didn’t do anything different, but suddenly I was called “a tease” and told I was “leading them on.” Meanwhile, I still saw them the same as I always did. If I had been male, things could’ve continued the way they always had. The way people treat you differently once you start to grow boobs is bullshit.*
As an adult, I don’t care either way about gender (I consider myself agendered.) It’s still a shame that so many guys can’t tolerate platonic friendship with a woman.
*Except for my AMAB sisters. I imagine that experience was/is/will be freeing. It probably helps that you don’t have to experience it at the same time that all the boys around you are experiencing their own sexual awakening, making many of them see you (their one and only female friend) as their default love interest when you have yet to develop any such desires yourself. It’s not as fun as it sounds, y’all dodged a (barrage of) bullet(s).
I don’t really feel like I dodged bullets, but it does sound like we both had separate struggles during that time. I’m sorry you had to deal with that when you just wanted to stay friends with your guy friends. It’s worst when guys use terms like “friendzoning” and ascribe blame for not having feelings back.