You think you’ve got problems? What are you supposed to do if you are a manically depressed fridge? No, don’t try to answer that. I’m fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don’t know the answer. It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.
Your fridge now has a very dry sense of humour.
Genuinely Marvin did come to mind! :) Like a cross between Marvin and the slab robots from Interstellar