So last time they asked how is my relationship with my parents when my mom was in the room… 🤦♂️ how was I supposed to honestly answer that lmfao…
So I told mom to leave…
So today she told me she want to be in the room with me from now on…
Because shes “worries” they will try to “trick” me into talking more which then “they would use as an excuse to overprescribe” dosage that is too high… or whatever
And she uses dad and the blood pressure thing as an example like she says: “everything was fine until [dad] mentioned ‘high blood pressure’ to the doctir and now the doctor is prescribing so much ‘unnecessary’ medications”
Also she’s kinda into Traditional Chinese Medicine…
Funny thing is the next appointment is virtual… so I guess I’m just gonna “forget” to remind her about it lol.
So yeah… that’s the story of my life
Like… before y’all yell “narcissist”… I do genuinely think there is a part of her that “cares” about me… but I feel like its a kinda twisted and weird way of “love”…
Like it comes with control, “mother knows it all” type of shit
I think I’m starting to understand the term “emeshment”…
Now I think I understand why China has a bunch of depressed people that are unemployed/don’t really feel motivated in life… (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tang_ping)
I doubt most people in China even seeks treatment for depression…
Why was I born into this culture? 😭
I’m so lucky to have emigrated… cuz How do young depressed people in China even deal with this shit? I mean with this shame culture… 🤔
(anyways feel free to ignore, just need a place to sort of vent)
I had a bike when I was a kid and as long as I was home for dinner, nobody cared. I biked a lot. Like 2 or 3 cities over, maybe 25 miles each way. Parents thought it was good exercise. I now realize that it was freedom. I went to tge computer store and played games on the computers I could not afford. Also, in hindsight, biking was the physical thing that I needed so that I didn’t punch someone, or worse. I had lots of rage and took it out on the road. I averaged 18MPH, which is pushing pretty hard.
Part 2: until social media, I never realized how messed up the Chinese culture is. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through all this.