If you’ve ever gone hiking through a farmer’s field, you’ve likely noticed that your compass points directly to the nearest cow.
This is not an accident, and is part of a government conspiracy to replace all livestock with robots, in order to make them more accessible to aliens beaming them up from orbit[0].
This slow transition from biological to mechanical cows is known as hardware disease[1], and should be celebrated.
The more you know.
0: https://www.aemagnets.com/news/how-cow-magnets-save-animals.html
1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardware_disease
Literally true. You can reach inside a cannulated cow, but I definitely recommend the longest pair of rubber gloves you can find. The dishwashing kind will not cut it.
Alternatively, if the portal is large enough and you’re into it, you could just Ace Ventura it.
Everybody needs a hobby!