I can write my knowledge of conversational French on an ant’s cock in black marker, but…

I asked a French waiter one day what the French for “sparking rosé” was. It absolutely threw them. I suspect it’s the British obsession with rosé, coupled with the fucking heresy that is making wine fizzy to a man who was proud of his countrymen’s produce.

I went down the “vin gazeuse?” route like one would do with bottled water, and he looked at me like I’d just shat on his dog. In the end, he just volunteered “vin avec bulles?” and I was like “you know what, that’s better than anything I’ve got so we’ll run with it”

I’m pretty sure I gravely damaged Franco-British diplomatic relations there but whatevs, give me my fizzy pink wine, I ain’t proud 😊