I blocked this community a while ago so I don’t accidentally view/comment on it
Same. I’m definitely guilty of glossing over community names, but fortunately saw that community the one time it took to block.
I honestly don’t know what you’re offended by. Maybe I wasn’t reading closely enough, but could you spell it out for me?
Maybe I believe in community rules too strictly.
If the rules say women only, it means women only.
Yeah, men should go to the back of that bus right?
Oh, poor poor oppressed men that aren’t allowed anywhere on the internet!
I personally do not care, I usually do not want to go into communities/places where I’m not welcome. But disceiminating basing on gender, sex, sexuality, race, ideology, etc… usually frowned upon.
I just find that double standard quite pronounced.
I would agree with you but this is like being surrounded by men for 99% of the time all the time forever and then having a community that is not 99% men.
That said I don’t fully agree with them, half the time it really is weirdos downplaying women’s experiences, but the other half is a woman giving a story and ending it with something like “men are disgusting,” and someone (not very nicely) replying “what do you mean men are disgusting??”
I wouldn’t say that’s a reasonable response, but definitely understandable, and I’ve seen it downplayed as an incel response pretty often
I think your stats are a bit skewed, it’s likely more than 1% of the entire population (internet or otherwise) that are women, trans women, or NB. (I know you’re speaking entirely too hyperbolically rather than literally, but)
I mean, just in the US alone:
The total population of United States is estimated to be 332.39 million with 164.55 million males (49.50%) and 167.84 million females (50.50%). There are 3.3 million more females than males in United States.
I find it hard to say that 3.3mil more women than men is “99% men all the time,” sounds like it’s closer to 50.5%.
As for them having their own community, idgaf really, have fun, but also:
It’s definitely a double standard, and fraternal organizations are often met with just as much hostility and discrimination suits (ex: Boy Scouts were pressured to allow girls, while Girl Scouts not only never faced the same pressure, those leaning on Boy Scouts to br inclusive actively defend Girl Scouts as a male exclusionary space, and I cannot grasp the cognitive dissonance that takes). Personally I think we need to pick a lane as a whole either direction, it’s either fine or not to have exclusionary orgs and comms like that, no double standard, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Also I think it’s somewhat of an invitation for problems to have your exclusionary non-public community in public. Should prrooooobably just have something more secure that people won’t constantly stumble into, but if one has fun with constant moderation I suppose it’s a good way to feed one’s addiction. Seems like it’d get old, personally.
It’s especially ridiculous to me to make someone’s demographic the subject of a post, while barring that demographic from participation (at least on that post.) I guess I get it, it’s like talking shit behind someone’s back instead of to their face, which is a lot easier, but it is telling that if you replace the demographic in question with any other of your choosing, the problems with the practice would become glaringly obvious.
That said if they want to be exclusionary, reactionary, and complain about an entire demographic without them there to speak their side? Well I’m used to it, you should hear the shit my uncle says, so I say have fun, fuck it.
On lemmy as well as reddit it is by far majority men, idk why you’d think I was talking about irl. A lot of people talk way more online than irl.
I do agree having just a men’s space is important, I think the reason for things like boy scouts being mixed is so you can have people of both genders interacting while building and doing things together, which is really important learning and doesn’t happen much in schools. Is this more or less important than having a purely boys space, i really don’t know. That said I’m not opposed to pure male spaces once people aren’t in school anymore, and it likely is important, but I can maybe try to explain the double standard.
I think we would both agree men are generally more aggressive and competitive, due to higher testosterone. That means they will generally take up more of the space and conversation, and be more boisterous. This means a few men in a woman’s space will impact it much more than a few women in a men’s space. Women being generally less aggressive stern competitive etc their voices are often just lost or very quiet in normal life. People want to talk to others with similar experiences and commiserate, and that’s hard to do for women if they’re not hearing other women. I think irl even if you didn’t identify as a woman but had very similar experiences to women, most good groups would say ya you’re also welcome. It’s sort of just a bad categorization for shared experiences, but the best one we have for now.
Idk I don’t look at people venting against any demographic and think I need to speak up (as long as it’s not just hateful or wrong). It’s like if I said “I have to lock my car in majority black neighborhoods,” most non radical leftists would say “ya true but they’re not more dangerous because they’re black its because they’re poor” to which I would say “ya. I still have to lock my car here though.” Same thing in that thread, men wouldn’t do that if they had more support from men AND women, but the statement was totally fair and not really that negative, it felt more like “it’s sad this is the way things are right now.” Though, testosterone DOES sorta push men to think being nice = in love, so it’s not a totally fair comparison.
The reason it’s public is to make it as easy as possible for women to stumble into it and post and comment, and hoping everyone else will be understanding. Making it private or sign-up only or whatever basically loses the whole point of being able to hear other women.
Online communities don’t have to have the same demographics as physical locations. Why does it seem weird to you that either gender would want to vent about the opposite one without reading 100 replies by the group being vented about.
The problem is not being allowed somewhere. Women are allowed pretty much everywhere, too.
What is inadequate is building what are essentially hate groups and not letting the opposite side defend themselves.
This turns to unnecessary and brutal radicalization that is antithetic to a productive change.
Sure, women are allowed pretty much everywhere, but it still doesn’t mean that we are safe from harassment or that the spaces aren’t extremely male-dominated. And if an oppressed group wanting their own space and complaining about their oppression is a hate group to you, look inwards.
I see where this is coming from, and from that angle, it might seem (and sometimes be) noble.
The problem arises when the oppressed group starts falsely lumping everyone outside the group into oppressors, which so often happens around gendered issues, among others. So many times I’ve seen women in such spaces lashing out at men at large and then bringing this mentality to the world outside the group.
“Men can’t be discriminated against - they are oppressors” “Men are abusive by nature” “Men are unsafe to be around” “Men are the problem” “It is always men” “Sure, a man might just be a chill person, but he always carries privilege and is thereby part of the problem” “Men go through different socialization that breaks them and makes them abusive”
These are just few of the arguments I’ve seen in the wild, on several occasions.
To be clear: it’s not by any means exclusive to women. There are plenty of examples of men grouping together on much the same grounds, spreading similar false narratives about women. And this is something that shouldn’t happen, ever, under any premise. It erodes our ability to build bridges, to communicate, to find actual solutions - and to support each other, whatever the gender distribution of any given place is. And currently, Lemmy is certainly not the worst on the scale, even though it could fare better.
He read the rules of the community and decided to break them anyway.
Why is bringing a comment from a woman in his life so bad? It might be a gray area but it’s still from a woman which is what the point was.
I’m not arguing against the rule since I just blocked the community if I can’t interact with it anyway, but it feels like that should be an interesting gray area discussion thing, though that’s also just ignoring the femcels responding to him calling him a liar lol
it’s hearsay; if you can’t cross examine the testimony, it can’t be presented as evidence.
Because he is not following the rules.
He said female. That’s apparently the new n word
Please just go back to reddit
Oh good. I don’t follow this com, another comment tipped me off.
While I do enjoy a little bit of chaos and schadenfreude, it would be nice to block out user names. Call out the mistake, not the person.
Most people here are lovely, but it only takes one match to start a fire. Might as well address some bullshit in these comments since I’m gonna get trolled by incels anyway…
side note: I’m not a mod there.
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The women’s com is trans and non-binary inclusive. Anyone who feels at home there (and is respectful) is welcome.
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It’s not all bitching about men. Looking at the last twenty posts, one was about men and two were related to men. We talk about pads and health and essays and positivity memes and do fun activities on fridays.
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I support men making their own support groups. Although the internet itself often feels like a menfolk support group(to me,) I’m sure there are plenty of things an easy to find, curated space, could offer men who want to be just a little more vulnerable, knowing they would be supported by the mods if any toxic women came in to devalue their opinions and experience.
I support men making their own support groups. Although the internet itself often feels like a menfolk support group(to me,) I’m sure there are plenty of things an easy to find, curated space, could offer men who want to be just a little more vulnerable, knowing they would be supported by the mods if any toxic women came in to devalue their opinions and experience.
They should. the issue with this is they get branded as hate-groups or for ‘losers’. more or less automatically irregalrdless of what kind of community they are.
the bigger issue is that generally people think men are evil by default, and women are good by default. and that’s not a cultural assumption most folks are willing to look past.
generally people think men are evil by default, and women are good by default
i think this is a misunderstanding of the dynamic
we see this play out pretty regularly with the “not all men” arguments and the like: men getting annoyed by women being careful, and taking “you could hurt me” behaviour as some kind of insult. the statement is true: not all men are evil to women, but any man could be evil to women and thus need to be treated as though it’s possible in order to protect themselves
So? Any women could be evil to men as well. Should we therefore insult them by claiming they ‘could’ hurt us every time we encounter one?
It is a stereotype. I get being cautious. There are many awful men around. But keeping your distance from all of them until they have proven their innocence is not really a way to live.
If women are straight up not interacting with you because they think you could hurt them you need to reassess what kind of vibes you’re giving off. There’s nothing wrong with keeping people of either gender at arms length until you’re sure they’re trustworthy. It’s not an insult, they just don’t know you. Women generally have a lot more to worry about in that regard because men are typically bigger and stronger than they are. As a man on the smaller end of the spectrum I deal with some of those worries myself. It’d be great if we could all just trust each other by default but that’s not the world we live in. People are allowed to just go around being psychos until they do something really bad, and you don’t want to be the victim when that happens.
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Eh, I only ever see that community when a bait post makes it to the front page.
Honestly, I just assumed it was a really elaborate troll group and didn’t bother engaging.
It is not ‘an elaborate troll group’. Women just want our own spaces on a male-dominated platform and to discuss without 10000 incels crawling out of the woodwork.
Fair play to you - it just comes off that way.
Each post that hits my feed makes me think “wow, sexism is alive and well”. Glad to hear it isn’t just all rage bait.
Segregated anything is fucking dumb. Segregated internet communities are especially fucking dumb because anyone can be anyone on the internet.
That’s really ignoring a mountain of history. Up until a decade ago, “there are no girls on the internet” was a common saying.
I just see it as a way to foster and encourage an under represented segment of the community. It feels completely valid when that segment is still often met with hostility from weirdos.
the point of the saying was that your sex/gender shouldn’t matter for internet comments.
it wasn’t to exclude women.
self identifying yourself as a man or women will radically change how people interpret your comments. a lot of people assume i’m a woman from the way i comment. then they would find out i’m not a woman and harass the shit out of me for upsetting/subverting their gender expectations.
